How Diwali came?

A young second generation Indian in the US was asked by his mother to explain the significance of "Diwali" to his younger brother, this is how he went about it...

"So, like this dude had, like, a big cool kingdom and people liked him. But, like, his step-mom, or something, was kind of a bitch, and she forced her husband to, like, send this cool-dude, he was Ram, to some national forest or something... Since he was going, for like, something like more than 10 years or so.. he decided to get his wife and his bro along...you know...so that they could all chill out together.

But Dude, the forest was reeeeal scary shit... really man...they had monkeys and devils and shit like that. But this dude, Ram, kicked with darts and bows and arrows... so it was fine. But then some bad angster boys, some jerk called Ravan, picks up his babe (Sita) and lures her away to his hood. And boy, was our man, and also his bro, Laxman, all
the gods were with him... So anyways, you don't mess with gods. So, Ram, and his bro get an army of monkeys.. Dude, don't ask me how they trained the damn monkeys... just go along with me, ok... .. So, Ram, Lax and their monkeys whip this gangster's ass in his own hood. Anyways, by this time, their time's up in the forest..and anyways...it gets kinda boring, you know... no TV or malls or shit like that. So, they decided to hitch a ride back home... and when the people realize that our dude, his bro and the wife are back home...they thought, well, you know, at least they deserve something nice... and they didn't have any bars or clubs in those days... so they couldn't take them out for a drink, so they, like, decided to smoke and shit... and since they also had some lamps, they lit the lamps also...so it was pretty cooool...you know with all those fireworks... Really, they even had some local and play along with the fireworks...and you know, what, dude, that was the very first, no kidding.., that was the very first music-synchronized fireworks...you know, like the 4th of July stuff, but just, more cooler and stuff, you know.

And, so dude, that was how, like, this festival started."

COOL ONES

1. A FOOLish man tells a woman to STOP talking, but a WISE man tells her that she looks extremely BEAUTIFUL when her LIPS are CLOSED. 2. One GOOD way to REDUCE Alcohol consumption : Before Marriage - Drink whenever you are SAD After Marriage - Drink whenever you are HAPPY 3. Three FASTEST means of Communication : 1. Tele-Phone 2. Tele-Vision 3. Tell to Woman Need still FASTER - Tell her NOT to tell ANY ONE. 4. Love your friends not their sisters. Love your sisters not their friends. 5. A man got 2 wishes from GOD. He asked for the Best wine and Best Woman. Next moment, he had the Best Wine and Mother Teresa next to him. Moral : BE SPECIFIC 6. What is a BEST and WORST news you can hear at the SAME time ? It is when your Girl Friend says YOU are the BEST KISSER among all your Friends. 7. Let us be generous like this : Four Ants are moving through a forest. They see an ELEPHANT coming towards them. Ant 1 says : we should KILL him. Ant 2 says : No, Let us break his Leg alone. Ant 3 says : No, we will just throw him away from our path. Ant 4 says : No, we will LEAVE him because he is ALONE and we are FOUR. 8. If you do NOT have a Girl Friend - You are missing SOME thing in your life. If you HAVE a Girl Friend - You are missing EVERY thing in your life. 9. Question : When do you CONGRATULATE someone for their MISTAKE. Answer : On their MARRIAGE. 10. When your LIFE is in DARKNESS, PRAY GOD and ask him to free you from Darkness. Even after you pray, if U R still in Darkness - Please PAY the ELECTRICITY BILL. 11. Why Government do NOT allow a Man to MARRY 2 Women. Because per Constitution, you can NOT PUNISH TWICE for the same Mistake. 12. "A Ship is always safe at the shore - but that is NOT what it is built for" - Albert Einstein